About
The Bureau of Corgi Affairs
Corgi Problems began as a group chat. Every corgi owner in it had the same complaints, phrased with the same love, about a dog that was clearly doing all of it on purpose. Somebody suggested we start keeping a record. This is the record.
The Bureau exists to document corgi problems with the seriousness they deserve, which is a great deal, and the accuracy they deserve, which is also a great deal, and to make anyone who lives with a corgi feel a little less alone at 9:47 p.m.
Bureau headquarters, artist's rendering
Methodology
How a problem becomes a case
Classification
Every case is filed under exactly one of four categories.
- Structural
- Problems arising from the corgi's physical design. The Bureau has raised these with the manufacturer.
- Behavioral
- Problems of conduct. The corgi is aware of the rules and has elected to proceed regardless.
- Emotional
- Problems of the heart, most of which are yours.
- Environmental
- Problems the corgi inflicts upon its surroundings, including but not limited to your car.
Severity scale
Rated from one to five by a panel of owners. The corgi's objections are noted and disregarded.
- 1 · Delightful
- 2 · Manageable
- 3 · Chronic
- 4 · Severe
- 5 · Catastrophic
A rating of five is reserved for problems with no known resolution and a measurable effect on household appliances. There is currently one.
Report counts are the Bureau's running tally of households that have corroborated a case file. They are approximate, they are enthusiastic, and they go up when you press the button.
Questions
Frequently filed
Is any of this real?
The corgis are real. The problems are real. The Bureau is a website. The advice about spines, heat, weight, and teeth is genuinely worth following, and we have tried to keep those entries honest. Everything else is affection wearing a clipboard.
Do you sell the gear in the Coping Mechanisms guide?
No. The Bureau documents what helps and rates it honestly. If that changes, the ratings will not.
My corgi does something that is not in the registry.
That is not a question, but we understand. File it. Novel problems receive their own case number and you receive the credit, which is worth nothing and which you will treasure.
Is this site for Pembrokes or Cardigans?
Both. The Cardigan Welsh Corgi has a tail, a slightly longer body, and every problem in this registry. Some entries note the differences. The stare is universal.
Can I use the registry for a corgi I am thinking about getting?
Yes. Please read CP-001 (The Shedding) three times, then decide. If you are still here, welcome. You are going to be fine. Your vacuum is not.
20 cases on file and counting.