ExhibitCooling Mat
Pressure-activated gel mat. No power, no water, no arguments.
“The only object the Bureau has observed a corgi choose over the couch.”
Bureau of Corgi Affairs · Official registry
The shedding. The sploot. The selective hearing. The 9:47 p.m. zoomies. Corgi Problems is the public record of what it is like to live with a small, loud, opinionated loaf, filed one case at a time.

Subject: unnamed · Status: pleased with itself
Current shedding level
Catastrophic
CP-001“Found a full corgi fur tumbleweed in my suitcase. In Lisbon.”Priya, on behalf of Waffles
CP-006“He barked at a shadow for eleven minutes. The shadow was his.”Dev, on behalf of Biscuit
CP-012“She lay down in the crosswalk. Traffic waited. She did not.”Marisol, on behalf of Pancake
CP-004“I have not used my own pillow since 2023.”Tomas, on behalf of Loaf
CP-020“Learned to open the treat drawer. I moved the treats. He learned the new drawer.”Jun, on behalf of Ein
CP-008“Strangers stop to say 'look at that butt' at least twice a walk. I have started agreeing.”Amara, on behalf of Peach
CP-013“Sighed at me. Audibly. Because I said no to a second breakfast.”Colin, on behalf of Sir Reginald
CP-011“Sploots on the AC vent so aggressively the living room is now warmer than outside.”Hana, on behalf of Mochi
CP-010“9:47 p.m. Every night. I can set a clock by the zoomies.”Rae, on behalf of Nugget
CP-005“Herded my in-laws into the kitchen and would not release them.”Oscar, on behalf of Gouda
CP-015“Stared through the shower curtain the entire time. Did not blink.”Lena, on behalf of Tater
CP-014“The vet said 'condition score.' I have never felt so seen, or so judged.”Sam, on behalf of Dumpling
CP-001“Found a full corgi fur tumbleweed in my suitcase. In Lisbon.”Priya, on behalf of Waffles
CP-006“He barked at a shadow for eleven minutes. The shadow was his.”Dev, on behalf of Biscuit
CP-012“She lay down in the crosswalk. Traffic waited. She did not.”Marisol, on behalf of Pancake
CP-004“I have not used my own pillow since 2023.”Tomas, on behalf of Loaf
CP-020“Learned to open the treat drawer. I moved the treats. He learned the new drawer.”Jun, on behalf of Ein
CP-008“Strangers stop to say 'look at that butt' at least twice a walk. I have started agreeing.”Amara, on behalf of Peach
CP-013“Sighed at me. Audibly. Because I said no to a second breakfast.”Colin, on behalf of Sir Reginald
CP-011“Sploots on the AC vent so aggressively the living room is now warmer than outside.”Hana, on behalf of Mochi
CP-010“9:47 p.m. Every night. I can set a clock by the zoomies.”Rae, on behalf of Nugget
CP-005“Herded my in-laws into the kitchen and would not release them.”Oscar, on behalf of Gouda
CP-015“Stared through the shower curtain the entire time. Did not blink.”Lena, on behalf of Tater
CP-014“The vet said 'condition score.' I have never felt so seen, or so judged.”Sam, on behalf of Dumpling
Today's case
Selected by rotation, not by merit. All problems are equally serious, except the sploot, which is fine.
The Chonk
Gains weight by looking at food. Looks at food constantly.
The registry
Two coats a year. Each one lasts six months.
Rear legs deployed backward. Subject has become a rug.
Hears a cheese wrapper from three rooms away. Cannot hear its name from three feet.
Peach-shaped. Unavoidable. Extensively photographed.
Classification
Live instrument
● Recording
Diagnostic service
Eight questions. One verdict. The Bureau will identify your corgi's primary afflictions and issue an official assessment of your household's condition.
Coping mechanisms
Every item is scored twice: once for whether it works, and once for whether the corgi will allow it.
ExhibitPressure-activated gel mat. No power, no water, no arguments.
“The only object the Bureau has observed a corgi choose over the couch.”
ExhibitConverts between steps and a ramp so the long back has a way up and, more importantly, down.
“Essential. The corgi will ignore it for three weeks and then use it forever.”
ExhibitTiny, soft, and measurable. The currency in which all corgi negotiations are settled.
“The single most effective tool in this guide. Keep them counted.”
Something we missed?
The registry grows one confession at a time. Submit yours and receive a pending case number, which is worth nothing and which you will treasure.