Long Back, Short Legs
Built like a bench. Jumps like a hero. Lands like a problem.
- Severity
- Chronic
- Onset
- First couch.
- Prognosis
- Good, with ramps and restraint.
- Reports on file
- 26,720
Section 1 · Presenting symptoms
- 1.1Launches at furniture from a distance it has not measured
- 1.2Stairs descended in a controlled fall
- 1.3Confidence entirely uncorrelated with leg length
- 1.4Deep offense when lifted, followed by demanding to be lifted
- 1.5Vet has said the word 'spine' with a serious face
Section 2 · Investigator's field note
The corgi is a long dog on a short chassis, and its back was not consulted about its ambitions. Jumping off beds and couches puts real stress on a corgi's spine, and the breed is prone to intervertebral disc problems. The Bureau takes this one seriously: ramps and steps are not a luxury for a corgi. They are the closest thing to a warranty.
Section 4 · Corroboration
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26,720 households affected