corgiproblemsBureau of Corgi Affairs

Bureau of Corgi Affairs · Public records

The Registry

20 documented problems, each with symptoms, prognosis, and known treatments of varying honesty. None of them are the corgi's fault. The corgi has confirmed this.

Showing 20 cases

CP-001Structural

The Shedding

Two coats a year. Each one lasts six months.

Catastrophic
48,211 reports
CP-007Behavioral

Food Motivation, Extreme

Will sell you to a stranger for a single kibble.

Severe
44,012 reports
CP-003Behavioral

Selective Hearing

Hears a cheese wrapper from three rooms away. Cannot hear its name from three feet.

Severe
41,902 reports
CP-006Behavioral

The Bark at Nothing

Something is out there. It is not.

Severe
37,760 reports
CP-010Behavioral

The Zoomies

Sudden, unprovoked velocity. Nightly at approximately 9:47 p.m.

Chronic
40,318 reports
CP-012Behavioral

The Stubborn Stop

Mid-walk, the corgi has become a paperweight.

Chronic
31,205 reports
CP-014Structural

The Chonk

Gains weight by looking at food. Looks at food constantly.

Chronic
28,540 reports
CP-009Structural

Long Back, Short Legs

Built like a bench. Jumps like a hero. Lands like a problem.

Chronic
26,720 reports
CP-018Environmental

Car Hair Migration

The corgi rode in the car once. The car will never recover.

Chronic
24,890 reports
CP-005Behavioral

Herding the Household

Your family is a flock. The corgi has decided this.

Chronic
22,381 reports
CP-016Emotional

The Vacuum and the Storm

Two enemies. One of them you own.

Chronic
21,390 reports
CP-020Behavioral

Too Smart

Solved the puzzle toy in four minutes. Now it is solving you.

Chronic
20,140 reports
CP-011Environmental

The Double Coat in July

A dog dressed for a Welsh winter, standing in a Texas parking lot.

Chronic
19,840 reports
CP-015Emotional

The Stare

It knows what you did. It is waiting for you to say it.

Manageable
36,130 reports
CP-013Emotional

The Sass

Argumentative vocalizations upon receiving instruction.

Manageable
33,470 reports
CP-019Structural

The Breath

The corgi wants to kiss you. Consider what it has eaten.

Manageable
15,310 reports
CP-008Structural

The Corgi Butt

Peach-shaped. Unavoidable. Extensively photographed.

Delightful
51,930 reports
CP-002Structural

The Sploot

Rear legs deployed backward. Subject has become a rug.

Delightful
39,440 reports
CP-004Structural

The Loaf

All limbs retracted. Subject is now bread.

Delightful
35,110 reports
CP-017Environmental

Snow Enthusiasm

In snow deeper than its legs, the corgi becomes a plow.

Delightful
17,720 reports
The Registry | Corgi Problems