The Loaf
All limbs retracted. Subject is now bread.
- Severity
- Delightful
- Onset
- Late evening, or any time a blanket is present.
- Prognosis
- Delicious. No action required.
- Reports on file
- 35,110
Section 1 · Presenting symptoms
- 1.1Paws tucked entirely beneath the body
- 1.2Silhouette indistinguishable from a sourdough boule
- 1.3A small, satisfied exhale upon achieving full loaf
- 1.4Ears remain fully upright, functioning as a handle
- 1.5Eyes may close, but the loaf stays alert
Section 2 · Investigator's field note
When a corgi has finished with its legs for the day it puts them away. The resulting form is compact, warm, and evolutionarily optimized to make you cancel your plans. Bureau investigators note that loaves are frequently found in sunbeams, on freshly folded laundry, and directly on top of whatever you were about to use.
Section 4 · Corroboration
Is this your household?
Add your report to the record. The Bureau counts each household once and believes you.
35,110 households affected