The Bark at Nothing

Section 1 · Presenting symptoms

1. 1.1Sudden, full-volume alert at an empty hallway
2. 1.2The volume of a dog four times the size, stored in a dog this size
3. 1.3Barking at: the wind, a leaf, a neighbor two streets over, the concept of a doorbell
4. 1.4Brief, offended glance at you for not also barking
5. 1.5Immediate return to sleep as though nothing happened, because nothing did

Section 2 · Investigator's field note

Corgis are vocal. This is documented, expected, and in the breed standard. What the standard does not mention is the range: a corgi will produce a bark, a grumble, a woo, a scream, and a sound the Bureau can only describe as a small engine failing to start. All of these are deployed at nothing. The subject is not hallucinating. It is simply more thorough than you.