Food Motivation, Extreme

Section 1 · Presenting symptoms

1. 1.1Materializes in the kitchen before the refrigerator door finishes opening
2. 1.2Counter-surfing, despite being structurally incapable of reaching the counter
3. 1.3The Stare, deployed at maximum intensity during all human meals
4. 1.4Eats the kibble, then the crumbs, then the memory of the crumbs
5. 1.5Will perform every trick it knows, unprompted, at the sound of a bag

Section 2 · Investigator's field note

The corgi does not experience hunger the way other dogs do. It experiences a permanent, low-grade certainty that food is nearby and being withheld out of spite. This makes it one of the most trainable breeds in the world and one of the easiest to overfeed. The Bureau's position is that every corgi is on a diet, and every corgi is opposed to it.