corgiproblemsBureau of Corgi Affairs
← RegistryCP-013Emotional

The Sass

Argumentative vocalizations upon receiving instruction.

Manageable
Severity
Manageable
Onset
First time you said 'no' and meant it.
Prognosis
Permanent. Frankly, earned.
Reports on file
33,470

Section 1 · Presenting symptoms

  1. 1.1A grumble, delivered while complying, so you know it is under protest
  2. 1.2The back-talk 'woo' when told to get off the couch
  3. 1.3Sighing, audibly, at your decisions
  4. 1.4A single sharp bark that is clearly a word
  5. 1.5Returning to the exact spot it was removed from, while maintaining eye contact

Section 2 · Investigator's field note

Corgis have opinions and the vocabulary to share them. The sass is not disobedience; the corgi generally does the thing. It just needs you to understand that it has considered the request, found it beneath it, and is doing you a favor. The Bureau has recorded over forty distinct sass vocalizations and recommends treating all of them as constructive feedback.

Section 4 · Corroboration

Is this your household?

Add your report to the record. The Bureau counts each household once and believes you.

33,470 households affected

Section 6 · Cross-referenced cases

CP-003Behavioral

Selective Hearing

Hears a cheese wrapper from three rooms away. Cannot hear its name from three feet.

Severe
41,902 reports
CP-015Emotional

The Stare

It knows what you did. It is waiting for you to say it.

Manageable
36,130 reports
CP-006Behavioral

The Bark at Nothing

Something is out there. It is not.

Severe
37,760 reports