corgiproblemsBureau of Corgi Affairs
← RegistryCP-020Behavioral

Too Smart

Solved the puzzle toy in four minutes. Now it is solving you.

Chronic
Severity
Chronic
Onset
First time it opened a cabinet.
Prognosis
Escalating. Recommend staying ahead by one puzzle.
Reports on file
20,140

Section 1 · Presenting symptoms

  1. 1.1Puzzle toys rated 'advanced' cleared before you finish reading the box
  2. 1.2Has learned the sound of your car versus everyone else's
  3. 1.3Waits until you leave the room, then does the thing
  4. 1.4Has figured out that 'just a minute' means nothing
  5. 1.5Trains you to give treats for tricks you did not ask for

Section 2 · Investigator's field note

The corgi consistently ranks among the most intelligent dog breeds, and it uses the intelligence primarily against you. A bored corgi is an inventive corgi, and the Bureau has files on inventive corgis that we are not able to share. Keep the brain busy. Rotate the toys. Assume it is watching.

Section 4 · Corroboration

Is this your household?

Add your report to the record. The Bureau counts each household once and believes you.

20,140 households affected

Section 6 · Cross-referenced cases

CP-003Behavioral

Selective Hearing

Hears a cheese wrapper from three rooms away. Cannot hear its name from three feet.

Severe
41,902 reports
CP-006Behavioral

The Bark at Nothing

Something is out there. It is not.

Severe
37,760 reports
CP-007Behavioral

Food Motivation, Extreme

Will sell you to a stranger for a single kibble.

Severe
44,012 reports